#9; Amplified Theories.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

I Know It' Been A Long Time Since I Blogged.

If Anyone is reading this, anyone. I'm Depressed now. very depressed.

Yesterday, Deepavali. I've Forver Lost My Beloved Grandfather. 15 years of care and concern ends yesterday.

He had a very peaceful look. very very peaceful. when i saw him in the hospital yesterday. I can't belive he is lying there, already gone. just like this. I really wished that he could breathe again. At Least for a several months more. My aunt who is in UK now, intended to surprise him during christmas eve. And now all is gone. all is gone.

He's been taking care of me for 15 years. He saw me through it. Who am i now, is all because of him. The reason i could be this big now, is cause of him. I can vividly remember, he would cook our favourite food almost everyday without fail. And when my parents have taken time off, he would prepare a spread. He really dotes on all his grandsons and daughter.

I remember when i was little, i would visit the market with him, on his bicycle, every morning. There's this particular time, my leg got stuck by the lift's door. I was screaming in pain. But He was there, calming me down while trying to free me from the lift's door.

I was very playful when i'm younger. I got into a lot of trouble. My parents would arm themselves with cane, to give me a good whack. But He was there to protect him. i could still remember him telling my parents, in teochew,"Talk to him slowly, make him understand.Don't beat him" And i always got away with it.

when i started secondary school. He always would wake me up at the exact time without fail. and accompany me down to the bus stop and watch me get onto the bus, before walking to the coffee shop under my block for coffee with his "coffee kakis(buddies)".

Two weeks before his departure, he had complained about aches around his body. i still remember, and i would always do, walking him back to my house from my uncle's apartment. He would catch his breathe while looking at the night sky. He would always tell me in teochew"you can go back on your own if you must". I would of course stay. but in occasions of exams, i didn't. Upon reaching my apartment. He would lay on his bed. And i'll massage his ached body with medicated oil. And each time i massaged him, i could feel his bones. He was so skinny that his ribs are showing.

For 15 years, all the care and concern he gave, is beyond descriptions. And his departure, is a huge hurdle, a huge obstacle. 15 Years of care and concern, ends in his last breathe. I could see his tears falling as he breathe his very last. I never knew it would end like this. And every piece of memory of him, is treasure now. His every piece of belonging is the bond between me and him after he departs. Even the reading glasses that he is used before his leave. My greatest regret is that i don't think i've been filial enough, to him. I thought he could very least meet my future girlfriend before he leaves. What's left behind is a challenge. The challenge to cope waking up every morning without fail, waking my dad up for his night shifts, stop getting into troubles, to stay as strong from now.

Help him massage again. And that's what i really want to do now, after watching him lying in the cold wooden case.

You're Missed, Ah gong.

Where'd you go?

Where'd you'll ever go?

You're leaving me alone,

To face the hot and the cold.

Where'd you go?

Where are you now?

Would you be watching me?

As i grow up to see,

Life Seems To Be What You Think,

Of How It Would Be.

I crashed past on 2:35 PM

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Okay. Back again.
Went To Bishan Home Yesterday.
We made apple juice for like over 20 people. Finished one carton of Apples! WHOA!
that's a lot.
Went to collect no.1 today. nothing to talk about..

Just feel that the apple juicing thing is very meaningful. especially when you handing out the cups of apple juice.

Learn My Lesson.
By Daughtry

Tonight the sunset means so much
The one thing that you know you'll never touch
Like the feeling, the real thing
I reach out for that sweet dream

But somehow the darkness wakes me up
I've felt this emptiness before
But all the times that I've been broken
I still run right back for more

You'd think that I'd learn my lesson by now
You'd think that I'd somehow figure out
That if you strike the match
You're bound to feel the flame

You think that I'd learn the cost of love
Paid that price long enough
But still I drive myself right through the pain
Yeah, well it turns out, I haven't learned a thing

Sometimes I think I'm better off
To turn out the lights and close up sho
pAnd give up the longing, believing in belonging
Just hold down my head and take the loss

You'd think that I'd learn my lesson by now
You'd think that I'd somehow figure out
That if you strike the match
You're bound to feel the flame

You'd think that I'd learn the cost of love
Paid that price long enough
But still I drive myself right through the pain
Yeah, well it turns out, I haven't learned a thing

I crashed past on 7:09 PM

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Todays the day that i've been waiting for 6 months. Nope, it ain't about her, i hope it would but no.. Anyway, i was on duty since monday and i didn't know i did! XQBEH say got sms me, but i receive no nuts.

Woke Up At the usual time (5.30a.m). Went back to sleep and woke up found out i slept for freaking 10 minutes only. Changed and went down for the 2nd bus. Seems that Viknessh and the others are taking Circle Line to school instead. Guess I'm changing too.

Went to class, saw wenhao just opened the class. Went to 3E3 to slack. Asked kah xuan whether take correct medicine not. LOL

Then as the usual. Temperature taking in class. Then POA.
POA 3 periods. BORING. Was talking to Taufiq about turntables, and slapmat and Studios.

Then Chinese. Mdm Cheng. Nothing to talk about.

Physics. Absent on Tuesday. So don't really understand what Squidward(Mr. Yong K.F It's what we call behind him, he knew about it but he didn't take it to heart) was teaching. Understood a little bit about convection cycle and some thermal flask thingy.

Recess! Sat with Jin Guo, Taufiq, Moses, Malcolm, Kelvin Ho and Derrick.
Joked about things.. Many Laughs.

Then As Recess Ending, Went to DnT Room outside to slack. Then this relieve walked passed and asked whether we are 3e4/3e5. Wooots! He relieving us. Whats Best? 3 PERIODS! WOOOOTTTTS! LAN SHOP AGAIN! 3 Periods Of Lan Shop. Guess It's Peh's Lucky Day? His Last DnT Lesson. He Going to 3E3 For A Maths. He Doing Triple Math... I Think... Fly My Plane. .

DnT Just Slacked Along. Three Periods, Say Long Not Long Say Short Not Short.

Then School End. Rush To Find My Head. Tell her i can't make it on friday. But then it was a mistake, it wasn't me but benjamin quek who is going to peirce on friday.

Slack at NPCC room for tomorrow's UG Day. Do Lashings. Finally Learned Diagonal. Slack until 3pm++. Then Went off with tze jie to bishan library. She Returning books then pay fines. Went home in CCL with 2e3 gabriel.

Sigh. Still In the minefield. What's after this minefield? Village? War Torn Town? Another Minefield? Or Just What i Wante...

It's The 135th Day, I'm still stuck in the minefield. Gosh What Am I to do?

Okay Some Happy Things.

We Created Chinese Name for Taufiq! Haha. It's Tan Doe Faye.
He wanted Tan Cause it's common. Then Doe Fay is direct translation. We even wrote it in chinese! 陈抖肥. if you don't understand this, it meant trembling fats. LMAO.

Engrossed With 2 Songs By Daughtry.
No Surprise And The One Playing in this blog, September.

Watch the mv of no surprise, though not really easy to understand, but enjoy the music.

No Surprise
I've practiced this for hours, gone round and round
And now I think that I've got it all down
And as I say it louder I love how it sounds
Cause I'm not taking the easy way out
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why...

It's NO SURPRISE I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE

It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's NO SURPRISE I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God know we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE

Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
That's why this comes as no, as NO SURPRISEIf I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it's better than where we are now
But after going through this, it's easier to see the reason why

It's NO SURPRISE I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE

The kiss goodnight, it comes with me
Both wrong and right, our memories
The whispering before we sleep, just one more thing that you can't keep
Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
But I know in time we'll find this was NO SURPRISE

Labels: 135th, No Surprise, Standing On A Mine Field, What's After The Minefield?

I crashed past on 6:40 PM

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

It's been a long time since i blog again.

I'm wondering now. Still Thinking About How Am I Suppose To Face It. How Am I Suppose Say It Out. How Am I Going To Tell Her. How Am I Going To Get Her? My Head is Heavy With Thoughts That Just Ain't Going To Happen At All. Can This Become A Reality Or Am I Still Going To Dream About It? I'm Now In A Minefield. Whats Worst? I Don't Even Know What Would I Find When I'm Out Of This Field, Yet I'm Still Thinking Of How Am I Going To Get Out Of The Minefield, Step By Step, Mine By Mine. It Could Be A Village With A Simple Theory Of Peace; It Could Also Be A War Torn Picture Of My Hometown.
But Could It Ever Be.. The Picture Of Me And Her? I'm Not Sure. I'm Not.

I look around me. Time And Tide Waits For No Man. I gotta let her know somehow. Somehow..

She's Just Like The Song She Is By The Fray:

She Is Everything I Needed, I Never Knew I Wanted.
She Is Everything I Wanted, I Never Knew I Needed.

How Am I Feeling Now.. It's Like Trying To Say I Love You To Someone While You Are A Mute.

And Liking Her Just Makes Me Feel Like Cutting Wires Of A Time Bomb.
Afraid That She Might Know.
Afraid That She'll Reject. But Hoping You'll Get The Right Wire. Just Hoping She Would Just Give You A Chance.

Liking Someone Doesn't Need A Reason. But While You Are Liking Someone, You'll Find Reasons That Makes You Like Her More.

I Felt Like I'm Myself Again. I Felt Like My Mask Have Fallen There Isn't Any Thing I Need To Hide.

What I Like About Her That Makes Me Like Her More? She's Always Herself. Cause I Like Her For Who She Is Not What She Is.

I Ain't Good-Looking.
I Ain't Romantic.
I Ain't Filthy Rich
I Ain't The Smartest Person.

It'll Be A Miracle That A Person Like That Gets A Chance.
What I Can Hope Now Is For The Miracle. .

She is What i'm Worried About Now.
She is all i want for christmas now.

Labels: All I Want For Christmas Now, Standing On A Minefield

I crashed past on 7:12 PM

Saturday, June 13, 2009

WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY TOOOOOOOOOO Long Since I Blogged

HA! Back At Last.

Okay Didn't Blogged For Half A Year And Back Cause Bloody BORED AROUND HERE.

Just Finished The YES Challenge Yesterday, a Two Days Competition Held And Organised By School Of Business, Singapore Polytechnic.

DAY1

11 June Woke Up At 5.30am! BLOODY DARN TIRED.
Didn't Eat Breakfast But Left For J8 Via Circle Line To Meet The Rest Of The YES Challenge GYSS Team.
Total The School Sent In 3 Teams, 1 Sr. Team And 2 Jr. Team

Jr. Team 1:-
Team Name: Money Maker
Howie
Alex
Kok Hui
Ming Hui

Jr. Team 2:-
Team Name: Validus
Wil Cheng
Tom
Zenevia
Jocelyn
Charissa

Sr. Team:-
Team Name: Surprise!
Xun Quan
Connie
Melvin
Jun Hong
ME:)

The 1st day was slacking and brainstorming. nothing much to say.
Came out an idea named Raver's Surprise.
An Modification Of LED Headlight Shoe, It is equipped with two motion sensors that converts kinetic enery into electricity to power the LED. What i suggested was putting 5 LED lights on the shoe and can serve 3 purposes, mainly as road safety precautions as these shoes would give off light, drivers can see them from far if their not wearing luminous or light coloured clothing, secondly, serves as an torch when going into dark places like cinemas, lastly a stylish apparels for RAVERS in CLUBS!! People whom like clubbing and raving the clubs would be amazed. Shufflers, TeckTonik And Jumpstylers can increase the visual effects by wearing this pair of shoe cause the light lights up with each contact with the ground. Cause when people shuffle they move with the bass of the music which serves as their beat, so it would enhance visual effects tremendously. BUT this idea wasn't adopted by the team. Instead, did a popcorn holder for cinema seats. Kinda Disappointed though...

DAY 2:

Woke Up At 5am this time, cause gotta reach SP by 7.30AM. Darn! The prototype was well functioning, did a 3D model Using IronCAD. During The Prelims, I was damn nervous, i prayed hard that i had confidence and wouldn't startle while presenting our team's idea. MADE IT THROUGH PRELIMS!! HAHA! Gave The Jr. Team A Surprise In The Convention Centre During The Announcement Of Results For Preliminary. BUT Semi-Final Ain't Easy. Went to a lecture hall. Was trembling. And Failed to give in my best as nervous outsmarted me. GG was in my mind. As expected, We're not into the finals, but better then last year's group which failed to make it to semi. but nevermind, a good experience anyway. I hope next year i could come back again and hopefully use The Raver's Surprise. Cause I Felt It Had A Potential To Get Into The Finals. A FUNNY THING IS THAT JUNHONG WON CONSOLATION PRIZE LUCKY DRAW AND HE WAS THERE" Not Me Lar.. Not Me..." Then The Announcer Announced one more time" Ho Jung Hong, Guangyang Secondary". We all like " Go La! GUANGYANG GOT HOW MANY JUN HONG AROUND HERE?" Then Suddenly The Announcer Announced Again, " Joshua Quek, GuangYang Secondary" I was stunned... WOW First Time I Win Lucky Draw Man. Not I Unlucky La, But I never did put my name into any lucky draw box, except this time.

Went Home after that.

OKAY, Until Here Gotta Go Sleep, Head Very Heavy..

Bye!

I crashed past on 1:19 PM

Friday, January 23, 2009

A Great Thing Happened Today, Something i prayed for and Thy Lord answered Me.
The Last Minutes Won The GY Got Talent. We've Been Preparing For A Lot Of Weeks. Thank You Lord. The Performance Is Not For The Audience But You My Dear Heavenly Father. What's More, Isabella, Siti, Farhana, Kai Li Rox! Although We, The Last Minutes, Won. What We Got Is All Because Of Marcus Tan's Precious Advice, He Helped Us A Lot. REALLY. (To Marcus: Thank A Lot Buddy! Thanks A Lot!) And Also The Friends That Have Been Backing Up Giving Me Encouragement Everytime I Faulted. Thanks A Lot Guys And Ladies:) Also The Prefectorial Board's Support, On Behalf Of The Last Minutes, I Thank You All! Last But Not Least, One Whom Make The Whole Performance A Success, Taufiq For Lighting.(Taufiq! You're Not Gonna Be Left Out, You Were A Great Help, Without The Lightings, We're Bland.) And Finally, The AV People Whom Forked Out Time, To Help Us With All The Technical Faults. Thank You All. I've Met A Lot Of People In The Competition, Including Improving or Forging Friendships. Yong Meng, Sherlyn, Siti, Fazlina, Farhana, Chung An, The Fastest Hands, Isabella, Christy, Kai Li And Last But Not Least Our Only Sec 1 That Made It Through The Finals, Casey. (Casey You're Great:) You're The Only Sec 1 You Know? That Means You're Like The Best, That Is The Reason Why You Are With The Older Ones. Go On!) I Wanna Thank Nelson, Taufiq, Jing Zhi And Also My Best Bud, Leroy! Thank You All For Your Help!

"Dear Heavenly Father,
Thanks For Answering Our Prayers To Make Things All Well During The Performance, Without You, There Won't Be Us Standing On The Stage. Thanks For The Chance My Father. As I Said, The Performance Is For You Not The Audience, The Glory Of Our Victory Is Also Yours Too. I Hope You Liked It, My Lord. Thank You My Lord. In The Name Of Jesus I Pray And Thank,
Amen"."

I crashed past on 8:00 PM

Friday, January 2, 2009

Lol NEVER POST FOR SO LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG TIME ALREADY! Anyway, Sec 3 Now. Things Changed. We're In Long Pants Now. LOL. WHATS BEST IS THAT CRAPPYTEENS PODCAST IS BACK!!
WOoooooooooOOOOOooooooooooooooOOOOOOts
We'll Be BRINGING YOU AWESOME EPISODES EVERY TWO WEEKS! CrappyTeens Podcast Is Back And Running Again! Awesome Isn't It?

Also, Took Up Shuffling Recently. Still Learning Basics Though.
I've been thinking of a nickname for me if i were to enter any crew. Cracked My Brains And Found A Not-So-Awesome Name. It's KuroKuma. It means Black Bear In Japanese. LOL
I'll Be Back In DJing Business In CTPOD In No Time! Catch My Come Back At http://www.ctpod.net/, Episode 38.

Best Of All, I Might Be Taking Part In CNY Performance This Year As A Bassist For Wei Jian And Wei Jun. They're Awesome. They're Good.
Whats More, Me, Jed, Laveen And Joshua (From Another School) Is Coming Together To Form A Band. The Name Had Not Been Settled Yet And The Decision For Additional Member Is Still Not Confirm. And I'm Writing A New Original Piece Of Mine Titled "Make The Change". Hope We Could Really Make The Piece Happen. So, Let It All Begin.

"Oh Dear Heaveny Father. Thanks For All This. And Also The Power Of Creativity That Gave Me An Idea Of The New Song. And Make The Performance Of CNY Be Succesful. And Also Let Me,Jed,Laveen And Joshua Set Up The Band Successfully With An Awesome Name For The Band. Let My Friendship I Have Now To Last. In The Gracious Name Of Jesus I Pray,
Amen"

I crashed past on 3:59 PM